Issues
by Mcky
Summary: Goku’s got a problem that he needs help resolving.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Goku's got a problem that he needs help resolving.

Warning: Spoilers for those of you who haven't watched/read much.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I just borrow.

Goku POV

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I've got a problem and I really need some help, but I guess to get good advice I need to explain things from the beginning.

First off, everyone thinks I'm a complete moron, but I'm not. I let them think that. Yeah, I still fight with Gojyo, eat tons like a wild animal, and say stupid things, but I do that on purpose. This journey can be a real downer and the guys need someone to lighten the mood. I mean really, youkai try to kill us every day and most nights. Wouldn't you be depressed?

So, on top of not being as stupid as they think, I'm also a lot more perceptive than they realize. Of course, I see the façade they put up, but I also see the truth underneath. Gojyo goes to bars, gets drunk, and womanizes because of his issues with his mother. In truth, he doesn't like any of those women. He's in love with Hakkai. Hakkai smiles all the time because his past still hurts so badly that if he didn't smile he wouldn't be able to stop crying. He doesn't believe he deserves Gojyo because of his past crimes, but he's starting a new life and coming to accept that maybe he can be forgiven. I think they are truly happy together. The only reason I can find for them to still be "in the closet" is Sanzo. He is an enigma all on his own. Of course, he knows about Hakkai and Gojyo, but his inability to handle personal relationships and commitments, well, fucks everything up. That jackass needs to come out of his damn shell. I mean, yeah, we've all got baggage. You're not unique with your murdered mentor and fucked up childhood. Gojyo's mother used to beat him and tried to kill him. He's only alive today because his brother saved his life by killing his mother. Hakkai murdered so many youkai he became one, and became horribly traumatized when his girlfriend/fiancé/wife (I still not quite sure which) committed suicide in front of him, with his knife, because she was raped and impregnated by a youkai. And, I can't remember anything before being imprisoned in a mountain. Which, from the whispers I've heard, was for about 500 years. What the fuck was up with that?

Sorry, I've digressed. I have a little trouble staying on track when I get really worked up. Where was I? Oh yes, Sanzo and his inability to accept that Hakkai and Gojyo are together. Well, maybe he's in the closet too. Personally, I don't think he even realizes he's in the closet. He's so fucking far in the closet that it would be easier to get him out of a black hole. Which brings me to my problem. I've seen his glances in my direction. I'm all for jumping into bed with him. Gods know that's been on my mind long enough, but I'm afraid being direct will scare him off. He's got no clue that he's been looking. He can't even deal with Hakkai and Gojyo and that doesn't even involve him. There's no way direct will work. It will have to be slow and subtle.

I considered giving him a pair of handcuffs. I'd say something like, "They're for when I've been bad. That way you can lock me up and do whatever you want to me. You won't have to chase me with your fan. You'll be able to hit me wherever you want: head, back, …bottom." I would love to say that to Sanzo, but I don't think it would go well. He would hit me with the fan, and unfortunately, it would probably be in the head. That's probably not subtle enough either. Gojyo wouldn't be able to stop laughing if I said something like that, and I doubt Hakkai could keep his smile he'd be so shocked.

I just don't know what to do. I'm worried I'll never figure out the right way to approach Sanzo, and I'm starting to get really frustrated. You know, that kind of frustrated, and it doesn't help when I try to take care of it myself.

Please, PLEASE, **PLEASE** help me. What should I do?

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So, I could just let this chapter stand on its own, but poor Goku! I have no ideas for how to resolve Goku's problem. If you want another chapter, I need suggestions. Otherwise, this is it. (If I don't get any good ideas in about two weeks, I'm changing the status to complete.)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Thank you everyone for your help. I'm not sure I would have continued this story without your suggestions. In fact, there were several good suggestions, so I wrote several different endings. I hope you like them all.

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Alternate ending #1- So, this chapter is way shorter than I had intended, but it's a tidy little way to wrap things up. This follows gerigirl and titangirl161's suggestions.

Goku paused as he stared out the window from where he sat on the window bench. The snow was coming down much faster now. It would be a cold night, even with the extra blankets Hakkai brought by earlier. Goku fell back into his monologue. "It's not like you could help though. You're unconscious and half dead." Goku glanced at Sanzo sleeping in one of the beds. That last attack before this town really took it out of all of them. Even Goku, with his impressive recovery time, still had a limp and sore ribs. Hakkai had already done all he could for Sanzo. Now all they could do was wait. "I whish I could talk to you this way when you're awake, it would sure make things easier. Though, your reactions would probably complicate things." Goku lapsed back into silence and returned to staring out the window. "Maybe if I-"

"How am I supposed to get any sleep with you yammering all the time? I thought you were finally going to shut up and then you start again. No one wants to hear a monkey being serious."

Goku turned in shock to see Sanzo glaring at him. "How much did you hear?!"

"Enough." The two stared at each other for a moment before Sanzo gave the slightest hit of a smirk. "It's fucking cold. You promise to shut the hell up if I let you in bed with me." Goku's heart soared but he didn't say anything. He just walked over and laid down next to Sanzo. The two were asleep within five minutes.

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Alternate ending #2- Thank you Keiran for suggesting this!

Another three weeks passed on the road. There were no inns to sleep at, not even any towns to buy supplies in, and a constant stream of attacks. It was getting bad enough that the four of them started sleeping in shifts incase of a new attack. This particular night they stopped in a small clearing in the middle of a vast forest.

"I don't think I like this. With all these trees, we can't see an enemy approach," Gojyo stated.

"But the last four nights we were in a barren wasteland. Now we have wood to build a fire and actually cook our food! No more cold stuff!" Goku exclaimed with pure excitement. (He was desperately trying to hide his exhaustion. He was being worn down. How was he supposed to cheer the others up if he couldn't be happy himself?)

"Goddamn moron! It's too fucking hot and humid to build a fire to cook. Besides, a hot meal would only make us hotter and more miserable." Goku glared at Sanzo. _I'm not sure that's possible. I'm pretty fucking miserable as it is right now._ _Everything seems to be getting on my nerves: the heat, humidity, lack of good food, lack of sleep, the constant attacks and subsequent injuries, and my inability to connect with any of you. I really just want a decent conversation that doesn't involve the words baka, moron, monkey, stupid, saru, or cockroach! All this playing dumb has really isolated me. I wonder if I'll ever be able to fix this._

Between the insufferable heat/humidity and Goku's incessant thoughts, Goku was unable to get any sleep that night. As light began to seep over the tops of the trees, Goku hoped they would be able to get an early start to beat the heat and maybe find a town. As these thoughts passed through Goku's mind, he heard a branch snap among the trees. Goku rolled over onto his back where he lay on the ground to see where the noise came from. Goku ended up staring up into the eyes of a very large, very angry youkai. "Fuck. Don't you guys ever give up?" The foursome was up in an instant fighting off a hoard of youkai, but Goku's methods were out of character and a bit alarming. He swept through the youkai with anger and aggression, doling out threats and swearing, as opposed to his usual playfulness and laughter.

"Damn it. I'm tired of this. I'm hot, and sweaty, and sticky, and hungry, and I didn't sleep worth shit last night. It's the same thing week after week. The hard ground to sleep on, youkai trying to kill us, us killing them. And what for? Cracks a skull with his staff. Does anyone really understand what is going on? Why is someone trying to resurrect a demon king and rule the world? Wasn't everyone happy before? Breaks a few ribs with a well-aimed kick. Why ruin that? Those jackasses are fucking things up for everyone. This journey probably wouldn't be that bad if they weren't trying to kill us. breaks an arm I mean Hakkai and Gojyo finally got together and they seem happy about it. Surprised look from all three. None of them knew Goku knew about Hakkai and Gojyo. I've learned a lot on this trip. I'm not a moron anymore disbelieving snort from Gojyo. I know what I want out of life now. takes out three youkai with one swing from his staff I want the same kind of happiness Hakkai and Gojyo found together. And I want it with Sanzo!" Goku punctuated his point with an especially hard whack to the skull of a very large youkai. He quickly crumpled to the ground amidst the other dead and injured youkai.

Goku stood staring down at the dead youkai. No one had ever heard such words come from Goku. And they had never seen Goku eliminate so many youkai with such swift force. They all stared at Goku with mouths gaping. Suddenly Goku turned towards Sanzo, strode over, grab his robes by the collar, and pulled Sanzo down into a kiss. The only thing keeping Goku from putting all of his passion into that kiss was a fear that he would scare Sanzo off. He kept the kiss as light and inviting as he could, with just a touch of desperation.

At first Sanzo's mind couldn't register what was happening. But as the warmth seeped from Goku to him, he realized just what Goku had said. Goku had unknowingly voiced Sanzo's own thoughts about the reasons behind the journey, Hakkai and Gojyo's happiness, and his desires for Goku. It was very comforting to know someone felt the same way. As Sanzo tentatively began to reciprocate Goku's kiss, Goku became a little too eager. The two stumbled and fell to the ground, with Goku lying on top. He sat up, straddling Sanzo's waist, his hands on Sanzo's chest, and a playful smirk across his face.

"Well, it looks like everything is taken care of here. I'll just go check the perimeter to make sure everything is secure," Hakkai stated as he wandered off into the woods with a pleasant (sincere) smile on his face.

"I think I'll join you," Gojyo said, slightly disgusted.

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Alternate ending #3- So, I'm a little out of my element on this one. I've never considered anything like this, but I thought I'd give it a try since two of you (Kitesvara and Sakural7865) recommended it. It may be a little crude. Warning- **brief** bondage and severe language.

Their journey had taken a turn for the better these past two weeks. The weather was pleasant, there were no attacks, plenty of food to eat, and periodic villages to stay in. This night the group happened to be camping out, but no one really seemed to mind. Just as they were getting ready to eat dinner, a band of youkai attacked. Through their disorganization and incompetence, it was clear they were not related to Kougaiji's group or those trying to resurrect the demon king.

"I'm so hungry, I can hardly fight. Why couldn't they have waited until after dinner?" Goku complained.

"These guys may suck at fighting, but there sure are a lot of them. Where the hell are they all coming from?" Gojyo commented as he killed his twelfth youkai. After a good half and hour, things started looking well for the Sanzo party. They defeated most of the youkai and the rest suddenly retreated. "They must have finally realized they had no hope of winning. I wonder what they were after." Gojyo said as he winced at the slight pain in his shoulder.

"Let me take a look at that Gojyo. Are there others?"

"They're not that bad Hakkai. I don't need you to fix them. I'll just wrap this one up and the others are fine the way they are. Nothing's serious." Gojyo complained impatiently.

"Alright, alright. Goku, are you ready for dinner now? ... Goku? Goku, where are you? Hey, have you guys seen Goku?"

"I haven't seen him in awhile. I thought I saw him go off that way after that really smelly youkai. You know, the one with the bandana and missing his left eye."

"Yeah. I guess we'll have to go look for him."

After about two hours:

"Fuck, it seemed a little odd to me when all those guys retreated suddenly. They must have taken Goku hostage. What the hell are we going to do?" Gojyo

"Track them. What else would we do?" Sanzo

After another two hours, a swamp with the nastiest smelling muck, and a rushing river that the group almost drowned in, they were able to track the rouge youkai back to their base: a dark and menacing castle.

The youkai leader, a very tall and well-toned man, inspected Goku who was chained up to a wall. Goku watched him and the other youkai helplessly. His injuries, several broken ribs and a concussion to the head, prevented him from breaking free of his chains. Behind their leader, several youkai were laughing and pointing at Goku, yet Goku was unable to make out what they were saying. Some of the looks they were giving him make Goku very nervous though.

"This specimen should fetch a high price on the black market slave trade. But we should test him out first. Put him in my chambers and I'll try him out tonight! I have to make sure he's of good quality."

Sanzo and the others wasted no time once reaching the castle. They didn't even pause to form a plan of attack; they just stormed the castle. They made swift work of the youkai, meeting little opposition. Most of the enemy had been killed when they first attacked in the woods, and now the rest were easily eliminated. In the process of fighting, the group searched each floor room by room, but they were unable to find Goku. By the fourth floor, Sanzo was really worked up. He was on the verge of panic. _What if Goku isn't here anymore? What if they already moved him? I don't know what I'll do if anything happens to him. I should have…I should have said something to him earlier. I don't want to loose him._

Sanzo burst into the next room angry and worried as hell, only to find a half nude Goku chained to a bed and a fully nude (and excited) youkai straddling his hips. Goku was trying in vain to break away as the youkai undid Goku's pants, yet his injuries prohibited him from resisting to his fullest. He was having difficulty struggling with the pain from his ribs and the weight of the youkai. As Goku thrashed his head back and fourth in his struggle, he caught a glimpse of Sanzo. "Sanzo!" Goku stopped struggling and the youkai looked up towards Sanzo smiling. "Heeyy, you're quite the looker. glances at Goku then back at Sanzo You want some of this kid. I could share if I can get some of you too."

Sanzo growled in anger. Instead of quickly banishing the youkai with his gun, Sanzo bound him in the sutra and began kicking the shit out of him. "Goddamn fucking youkai! What the hell do you think you're doing? Goku belongs to me. No one else is allowed to touch him. Fucking bastard! I'm going to fucking send your scrawny ass to hell. If anyone ever touches Goku again, I'm going to fucking blow their goddamn brains out!" As Sanzo finished yelling and kicking the crap out of the youkai, he pulled his banishing gun out and sent the youkai to his next life. Sanzo took a deep breath to try to relax his nerves and turned to Goku, still chained to the bed. Goku's astonishment was clearly written on his face. _Sanzo…cares for me!? What should I do? I didn't think he even liked me._ The reality of the situation began to sink into Sanzo. _Oh shit, Goku's hot on that bed. Fuck, I said too much! He knows now. What the hell do I do? Ummm…_ Sanzo quickly unchained Goku and left the room. Goku was a little confused at Sanzo's abruptness (especially after that look he gave Goku), but got dressed and followed Sanzo down stairs.

Sanzo waited at the castle's open front door. Hakkai and Gojyo waited in the jeep a few feet away. When Goku came down the stairs, Sanzo started for the jeep. "Sanzo! ...I …um…" Sanzo stopped and turned toward Goku. Goku approached him, but was only able to look at the ground. He was so unsure of himself and of what had just happened. He stopped right in front of Sanzo and just stared at their feet. Goku jumped slightly when he felt Sanzo's hand on his chin raising his head. They stared at each other for a moment and then Sanzo leaned towards Goku, uncertain of himself. He desperately searched Goku's eyes, finding only inviting warmth. Goku didn't dare move, he hardly even breathed, for fear of scaring Sanzo away. He never thought his dream would come true. Sanzo tentatively placed his lips on Goku's, shifting his hand from Goku's chin to cradle the side of his face. Goku responded with as much tenderness and passion as he thought Sanzo would accept. After only a moment, Sanzo broke the kiss and leaned away. _Well, that was a start. It may be a long and winding road, but at least we're on our way._ Both men let the faintest of smirks grace their faces as they headed to the jeep.

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"Oh please, oh please, oh please use that line in the next chapter/sequel! XD"  
Well, since you asked so nicely, I'll see what I can do ;-)

Alternate ending #4 – Thank you Ronnie for this very humorous idea. I like the way you think.

Everyone's favorite foursome arrived in a large city around dusk. There seemed to be quite a commotion going on, but as always, the fearless leader did his best to ignore it as they checked into a hotel.

"Hey, what's going on around here? Why are there so many people?" Goku asked the concierge as they received their room keys.

"What do you mean? Aren't you guys here for the parade? I mean, four guys traveling and checking in together, I assumed…" The concierge trailed off when he saw the look in Sanzo's eyes. "Gay Pride parade. I have to go now. They need me in the back." The poor man practically tripped over himself trying to get away from Sanzo.

"Geeze Ice King, you almost killed the man," Gojyo teased as he took his key and headed toward his room.

Goku spent a good part of the evening wandering around the lobby and in and out of conference rooms learning about the parade that was to take place the next day. At dinner, he announced that he was going to participate in the parade with some new friends he had made.

"Ummm, Goku, maybe we should explain a few things to you."

"I don't know Hakkai. His brain might be too small to understand this one." Gojyo

"…" (with a small growl) Sanzo

"What are you guys talking about? Is something wrong?" Goku questioned naively.

"Goku…do you…understand the reason for this parade? I mean…do you know what it means when…someone says they are gay?" This was the first time Goku had ever seen Hakkai falter in what he was trying to say. _This is priceless!_

"Of course. It means you're not straight!" Goku smiled at the others proudly.

"You moron. It means you're not into the guy-girl thing. If you're a girl, you would be into the girl-on-girl scene. For a guy, it would be guy-on-guy. In your case, it would be monkey-on-monkey." Gojyo took a drag from is cigarette. Goku stared at him with a blank look, then scrunched up his face, "You just insulted me, didn't you?"

"Goku, not everyone loves in the conventional way. Some women prefer other women, and some men prefer other men." Goku nodded, "You mean like us. We prefer each other's company to anyone else's." Sanzo glared at Goku. Gojyo's eyes got large with horror. "I don't think you explained it right Hakkai!"

"It would appear not. Goku, we all love each other just as friends (go with me here Gojyo, Sanzo), but some people love each other more than friends do. When they do, they become close emotionally. Because of that, they try to express that emotion physically. They become…um…intimate. Now, a large portion of the general population develops these feelings for the opposite sex. We call them heterosexual, or straight. A smaller portion of the population has these feelings for the same sex. We call them homosexual, or gay. Does that make any sense?" Goku looked at Hakkai with a blank/worried look on his face. "I think you may have broken the monkey's brain, Hakkai."

"You're talking about sex, intercourse. Right? Yeah, I know all about that. That's why I'm going. I thought that maybe I could meet a hot guy… What? You guys didn't know I was gay?" Goku asked with a completely innocent look on his face. The others just gawked at him with open mouths. "Well, I think I'm going to go buy something to wear for tomorrow. There are a few booths over in conference room D," and Goku excused himself from the table, laughing on his way out of the dinning hall.

"He was toying with us! How long has he… when did he learn so much? ... Maybe I'll go keep an eye on him. Just to make sure the twerp doesn't get taken advantage of _and maybe get something for Hakkai and me_." Gojyo strolled off in Goku's direction.

"Well, that was unexpected," stated Hakkai as he sipped his tea.

"…" (Poor Sanzo)

Next day- after the parade

"It was awesome Sanzo! You should have been there. There were so many people, and balloons, and streamers, and confetti, and it was like a giant party! Gojyo and Hakkai even came out. But then they started kissing and it grossed me out. I think they went to Hakkai's room. I don't even want to think about what their doing right now. Oh, I got you something. It's in the box on the bed," Goku called out as he wandered into the bathroom to change. Sanzo stood from his chair, walked over to the bed, and picked up the box. Part of him was curious about what was in it. Another part was a little scared about what Goku could have gotten for him at a Gay Pride parade. The last part of him told him to quit being a wuss and just open the damn box. Sanzo slowly removed the lid and pushed the tissue aside.

"They're for when I've been bad. That way you can lock me up and do whatever you want to me. You won't have to chase me with your fan. You'll be able to hit me wherever you want: head, back, …bottom." The most devious and perviest grin broke out on Goku's face. It would even make Gojyo proud. _I can't believe I finally found a way to say that to Sanzo!_ An intense blush spread through Sanzo's cheeks as his gaze traveled from the neon-green fuzzy handcuffs in his hand to Goku's mischievous face. "Hey, Sanzo. Haraheta!"

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I'm more into the build up that the actual act. I like reading it, but I just can't write it. Sorry, you'll have to use you imaginations.

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Alternate ending #5

Sanzo's POV (OOC)

Man, if anyone knew what I really thought none of them would follow me on this journey. Yeah, I put up a tough front and a wall to keep them all out, but that's really just to hide how scared I am. I really have no clue what I'm doing. Those damn Aspects didn't give much direction in their instructions. All I got was go west, prevent resurrection, and get scriptures. There was no explaining how I should do it. I'm just barely staying alive, and in the process, I'm endangering the lives of what few friends I have. I wish I were able to express myself better to them. My fears and concerns. However, that's one of my fears, that they wouldn't be able to accept, well, an open Sanzo. Therefore, each day I put up the same wall and yell the same threats because I know that's what they expect. In the process, I become more and more miserable.

There is no way I would ever admit this aloud, but I actually envy Hakkai and Gojyo. They're gay, they're in love, and they don't care what anyone else thinks. Yeah, they're not flamboyant and completely obvious, but they don't try to hide it either. Anyone who spends a little time with them can see how much they care for each other. I wish I could be so comfortable with myself and with other people that I could be open like that. To be able to share my feelings instead of bottling up and denying them.

Oh well, its not as if I have feelings like that to share anyway. I mean, what would I say? "Hey Goku, I like you, more than a friend." Yeah right, I don't think so. "Oh Goku, I've been watching you for a while and I was wondering if you'd like to play poker in my room tonight. You would? Is strip poker okay?" No way could I say that. "Goku, I love the way the sun glints off your golden eyes and bronze skin. Would you like to join me in the hot tub this evening?" Heh, I…I…oh, fuck! I hid my feelings so well I wasn't even aware of them. How could I have fallen for Goku and not even known about it? What the hell am I supposed to do now? Now that I know about them, it's going to be that much more painful to deny them.

I suppose…I suppose I could tell him.

Oh, that would be disastrous. He's technically still my charge. Wouldn't that be something like child abuse, taking advantage, using my power over him to get my way, statutory rape (assuming something actually happened)? But how am I to resist? It's like Goku trying not to eat. Now that I know, I don't think I can endure without him. I-…Hold on a second. The monkey is trying to say something to me.

"What do you want?" I growl out.

"There's something I've needed to tell you for a long time now. I've never known how to do it, and it's been eating away at me, so I'm taking Hakkai's advice and I'm just going to say it. deep breath I'm in love with you." Goku scrunched his eyes shut expecting a hit from my paper fan. I glance across the campfire to see Hakkai and Gojyo watching me. There's no judgment in their eyes. They have no idea what my feelings are or how I'll react, they just hope I won't destroy the boy. I guess I've taken too much time to respond because Goku has opened his eyes, such vulnerable beautiful eyes. I take a deep breath, reach out for the collar of Goku's shirt, and pull him down into my lap. Before he has a chance to voice his confusion, I kiss him. It's a simple, lingering kiss but it has enough emotion in it that Goku gets the message. Maybe this journey is taking a turn for the better.

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So, what do you think? I think I covered all the bases here and I'm quite pleased with myself. I definitely have a favorite or two among the endings, but I figured I'd share them all with you since I wrote them. Anyone have an idea for another story?


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